The Traveller
by Sethian Mackie
Summary: A funny short story I wrote for my english class.


The Traveller  
  
The Guild of travellers is thought to be the strangest guild on the Discworld; which would be true if it weren't for the guild of backward walkers, the guild of listeners, who listen out for the sound of creation, and the guild of sneezers. But to the people of Lancre, a peaceful little witch country, it is the strangest guild.  
  
Today was the First Setting Out Day (the biggest, most important day for any traveller) for Migele and he was very excited, a bit too excited for the Elders, as he had chosen Ankh-Morpork as his first Destination. Ankh-Morpork was at best described as like an overflowing toilet last sat on by someone who had taken too many laxatives. The most famous meal in Ankh-Morpork was the knuckle sandwich and one of it's biggest guilds was the Thieves Guild. The elders expected this to be Migele's first and last Travelling. Although he was quite good at judo, poi chi kai and klout poo, so he at least stood a chance...a small one, but it was a chance.  
"Migele ", begun Elder Tsokay. "Are you sure about this."  
" Why must you pick Ankh-Morpork of all places ", said Elder Banchooi. "Why don't you go to Sto'lat or Ephebe even? "  
Migele sighed, he knew they wouldn't give up, even after agreeing to drop it last night at the feast.  
"No ", he sighed. "I have made my choice and you cannot change my mind. "  
"Very well Migele we wish you luck and hope you have a safe journey ", said Elder Tsokay.  
"And we will pray for you ", said Elder Banchooi, then added, "a lot."  
Migele smiled and turned to face The Path of His Destiny, took his first step, and tripped. The two Elders helped him up with fixed smiles, dusted him off, said their good byes again and sent him on his way. After a while Elder Banchooi turned to Elder Tsokay and said, "That was a bad sign and you know it."  
"Yes, I know, but its too late now", he said sadly. "It is up to him to survive out there. "  
  
It has been an uneventful couple of months, thought Migele, only a few wild animals to deal with, a pair of thieves, easily dispatched, and that ten legged monster which barely made him break a sweat. And now, he was here, the splendid city of Ankh-Morpork was before him. The smell alone nearly made him physically sick, but his curiosity got he better of him and he steps through the city gates. Thankfully after a few seconds his sense of smell shuts down and leaves him to fend for himself and he can breathe again.  
Just ahead of Migele stands a large, smiling man with a tray of sausages 'inna bun, another fine Ankh-Morpork delicacy... well some people call it a delicacy. Of coarse those people usually live in padded cells. Mr C.M.O.T. Dibbler, one of Ankh-Morpork's more infamous characters, spots Migele and hurries over. A new customer would be good for business; in fact any kind of customer would be nice.  
"Ah, sir, you look new to the city", he says, his face all smiles. "C.M.O.T Dibbler's the name, selling you a hot sausage 'inna buns my game."  
"I'd rather not Mr Dibbler", replies Migele. "I've met someone who has eaten one of your sausages, the poor, poor man."  
Leaving Mr Dibbler, whose smile had vanished and was now looking rather worried, Migele walks on through the city. He visits many places of interest such as the numerous guild houses, the patrician's palace, the city's fine opera house and the well known river Ankh. The river Ankh was well known because it is the only river on the discworld that you can walk across all year round; sadly this is not due some ancient and mysterious magic but to the amount of rubbish dumped into it.  
As with the tradition of the traveller's guild Migele heads toward the city gates to leave, for a traveller must never stay in the city he or she has travelled to. No one really knows why this is so, but its tradition and you don't argue with tradition. He had almost made it to the gates when he was stopped by the city Watch. One said "Excuse me sir, would you mind telling us where you are going this late at night."  
"I was just about to leave your wonderful city", he replied.  
"Right", said the other of the two men, turning to the first. "We'd better take him to the Watch house Captain Carrot, he's obviously mad."  
What do you mean I'm mad", said Migele shocked. "I am perfectly sane and anyway I must be going."  
"Oh and why is that may I ask", Asked Carrot, a bit of interest showing in his voice.  
"It's a traveller's guild tradition," Migele said "a traveller must not stay at their destination for more than a day."  
"Hmm, travellers guild, very well then you may continue on your way sir."  
Migele thanked him and set off to the gates again but just before he stepped through Captain Carrot shouted back to him, "Mind you come back now! "  
Migele turned back to the gate once again but it was gone, in it's place was a giant pink elephant running towards him. He screamed, and woke up.  
"What a weird dream", yawns Migele getting dressed and grabbing his things for his first Setting Out, which was today. Migele walked to the main gates where he meets Elders Tsokay and Banchooi. "Migele ", begun Elder Tsokay. "Are you sure about this."  
"Why must you pick Ankh-Morpork of all places ", said Elder Banchooi. "Why don't you go to Sto'lat or Ephebe even? "  
Migele sighed and thought about his strange dream while saying, "No, I have made my choice and you cannot change my mind."  
"Very well Migele we wish you luck and hope you have a safe journey ", said Elder Tsokay.  
"And we will pray for you ", said Elder Banchooi, and then added, "a lot."  
Migele smiled worriedly, this felt like de ja vu, but he turned and faced The Path of His Destiny, took his first step, and tripped. 


End file.
